Purposefully- January 2019
I know that I know. Somewhere deep inside, I know. Sure, I can claim that someone didn’t tell me, or that I was deceived. But . . . somewhere inside me, I knew, all along. I know the victories and the defeats, even before they come. It is easy to ascribe Blame to others when things don’t go my way, it’s so seductive to do it. It allows me to go on a grand “glory-trip.” Or perhaps pander to a higher level of complexity, blaming myself. Now that is great fodder for fear-of-success. Both castigating myself and disparaging other people can create an amazing tapestry that eventually spirals down into a blackhole. Looking back at the many things I have done (or which were “done” to me) and saying they were “wrong,” will cause me to become all tied-up inside. I will begin fearing and trying to calculate the future, and become preoccupied with the actions — or possible actions — people might take. It’s the vibration of, trying to think what they are thinking and trying to manipulate the future . . . and that is a cosmic waste of time. After all, the reality is that everything is to my benefit; any lesser thought is me NOT doing the best I know how.
Again, this is not about being greedy, about a me first, me second, me third state of mind. It is about simply doing the best I know how, on time, every time. Therefore, I accept. That’s right, I accept! Because I understand that there is no real growth without acceptance. From this perspective, it is easier to incorporate all the powerful aspects of my experience (good and bad) in a positive way for me. When I do, it means I no longer need an offense, I no longer need a defense. I emerge freer and more one. I am just me, by design. With every action I face a decision. With every inaction I make a decision. I move not at random but with intent and purpose . . . conscious that the means are important, but they are not the ultimate end. Either I appreciate that I have continuity (that today is tomorrow’s yesterday), or I’m not fully respecting the consequences and magnitude of what I’m accumulating over eons of time.
It’s indisputable that I exist in the now — however connected I am to my future, and to my past. If I’m thinking too much about the future, I’m living in the future. If I’m dwelling too much on the past, I’m basically living in the past. Even so, I have always heard (and known) that as much as I’d sometimes like to escape into days bygone or the days yet to come, in reality I can only truly live in the beautiful now. I’m reminded of a song’s chorus that goes, “Love every moment, love every moment, love every moment of the day.” This inspires me to limit giving rein to fantasies about what may be and endeavor to avoid reliving what once was. Actually, I avoid mulling even my present over and over . . . because I’m committed to doing, more than thinking. Anything else is dividing myself from myself — dissipating my energy. But try as I might, I can’t really get away from me. I am never really lost. I am always here and now. I am consciously becoming conscious, of the real me.
There is a Spiritual Truth that goes, “You cannot rush the evolution of the soul.” I can attain and achieve amazing things, in only a short amount of time here on Planet Earth. But my spiritual evolution is nice and steady. All of the intellectual complexities and emotions can be useful while I am here. They actually belong here. But the facts are, the closer I get to Graduation, the less I am subject to “complexities” and “emotions.” I vividly recall circumstances in my past that caused me to be extremely emotional, or situations that simulated very complicated ways of thinking or calculating. Nowadays, most of those situations have lost their emotional charge, and they are rather simple for me to deal with. Well, I didn’t get there overnight. I had to “learn” and “grow” in them —Two little words, that have big meanings and content.
To be clear, there are still areas that get-me; keep me earth-bound. I’m working on them. What I have come to realize (and am still realizing), is that forcing things to happen, or trying to make them happen, is largely just squandering time. No matter what I “think,” I cannot change the rhythms and routines of the universe, or take away people’s innate Free Will. Meaning, I can climb to great heights through intellectual
and earthy controls, but it is very temporary; the glory is fleeting. The moment I withdraw the controlling vibration, all returns to the way it was. That is because I am willing it to happen, instead of allowing it to happen. When I am busy “willing it” I become blind; my way is the only way. This narrow mindset however neglects two important things . . . Spirit and People. But I don’t have to have all the answers. I don’t need to do everything. As a matter of fact, I only need to do my unique individual part. A major component to “my part” is, inspiration & enthusiasm. While it is true that I do need to be a little organized, what is really first and foremost is my need to be committed. Once committed and organized, it becomes all about “people and spirit.” How well I work with them will directly impact my impact. This means, helping people to help themselves (without sheltering or catering to them). Meaning, the level of energy will rise and real opportunity for positive change will occur. When I am constant with inclusively giving opportunity, I will have many times many personal opportunities to fulfill my purpose.
There is another song that expresses this energy: “I’ve got no strings, to hold me down, to make me fret, or make me frown. I had strings, but now I’m free. There are no strings on me.” I am sensitive to when I develop “strings.” They are attachment or controls I can allow. They are largely my own doing, and inevitably connected to my blocks. They are not evil. It is actually a little reassuring to know this. They tell me exactly where I am. Sometimes, better the devil I know. Of course, the true measure is how freely I do what I need and want to do. That is my internal barometer; a gauge to let me know how I am doing. Another measure is how well I give of myself. Do I give with hooks? Am I freely passing on what I have pulled together? There are things like agreements and contracts I have here. They help me, get-along with people. But I need to remember, they are there to help me do what I came to do, not to be an obstacle. There is no doubt I am sometimes being guided toward things & people. Other times I may ask for guidance toward things & people. At still other times, I fuel my own desires & needs. The common denominator is, I am not “stuck” with anything or anyone. It is all within my pathway. The old strings no longer manipulate me. Instead, they are connecting me.
There are no accidents and there is no such thing as luck. This can be difficult to swallow when I don’t respect the Universe, Spirit or myself. Or perhaps a gentler way to say this is, when I get caught in a little picture it is difficult to realize I’m in a bigger one. From a material perspective, I have to understand that my eyes and ears can sometimes lie to me; I can look or listen to something and assign a good or bad label, a right or wrong. Indeed, those “labels” can stimulate all kinds of emotions and separation. When I hit this, I relax. “Everything is going to be alright. There is a reason,” I say to myself. That gives my intellect focus, instead of an aimless wild creature that wants to take over. The truth is, my experiences are clear: I Am Energy — I am a Soul — I am Intelligent Light. I also know I must make it all practical; if it is not practical, it’s not spiritual. Until I resolve that all the “bad things,” or “wrong things,” are normal, I will always be separated. I will be so close to heaven, but it will always be a bridge too far. I do not need to indulge in the negative, or perpetuate it, after all I have free will. Instead I move with intent; deliberate, from feelings to actions (and everything in between). I commit to doing the very best I know how, release it and allow spirit to do their part. It is all happening just as I intended it to, for me. Now, what do I, the universe & spirit, want to purposefully create today? Purposefully is what I am and what I do.
The Way of the Wayshower®
©Alley Creative Inc. 2019