It is a must to identify what I sense. Is it a true feeling? Or is it emotion — a byproduct of the programing of my intellect? Only feelings are The Real Me, one with all things. Emotions which divide me from myself are ‘courtesy’ of society, now or in my first seven years, a natural (or unnatural) consequence of confusion in the world around me. Feelings are where I return Home; that is the place I go when I sleep, the place I will go when I pass on, and the space I inhabit when I want-for-nothing. Home is the peace-that-passes-understanding, undeniable when I am infused by it. The more I practice my life from my inner pivot point, the more I “become it”; I will float like a balloon to it. Heaven can be right in front of me, but if I have no experience with it and it is not in my true feelings I will not see it. If I am interested in truly being at home, then I must be there. To come home means, I must be willing to return home.
There is not now, nor has there ever been, nor will there ever be, a time that outer answers will fulfill my ‘need.’ Outer answers or answers given to me may help with my wants, but they will not fulfill my needs. While it is true that occasionally The Outer is in alignment with The Inner, that is not something to gamble with. I live in two worlds at once, so it is important that I get feedback from the material world. This includes relationships as well as material goals. All of it, however, must be run through the filter of my true feelings in order that I may continue on my path of clear direction. I have four spiritual gifts, a team of master souls helping me and all the wisdom that I have accumulated through time, making it most unlikely that I need something or someone, out there, to give me my answers.
It is curious to me how easy it is to look outside rather than within. This is programming. It is encouraged when cultural mores and people around me glorify external reward and belittle true feelings. When I came in, however, there was only looking internally. There was no restraint to my requests. While it is important to learn respect and give-and-take, it is still essential to know what my true motivations are. After all, ‘that is what I take with me.’
Much of being a Wayshower is living the “inner.” That is, bringing the suggestions and guidelines of the ‘out there’ into the ‘in here.’ From security comes inner-security, from respect comes self-respect, from government comes personal-government and so on and so on. My relationship with my helpers in the universe gets better because I begin to raise my vibration closer to theirs. For example, I need to be cleansed when I am asking my Guidance a question, for their opinion. I will always receive backing when I ask, but it will be far more clear and powerful when I do my part and stay cleansed. As is said, do my 50%. Discernment must be constant, to distinguish emotion from feeling. Am I looking at something that builds or something that tears down? Am I addicted to tragedy or drawn to fulfillment? Feedback from others and from the environment is important, but it is the Internal feedback that carries the day.
Having and being in balance means dwelling in the world of feelings and understanding, being fully engaged in give and take, live and let live. Doing this more often than not, is maturity. In other words, I know when I’m getting caught, on one side or the other, and I bring myself back. When I let myself go, however, I start living other people’s fantasies. I start believing the tragedies. I can even get hypnotized by them. It can turn into a syndrome of longing for troubles. It’s kind of like, when everything’s OK, there must be something wrong . . . with half my heart, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop . . . which breeds reactive rebellion. The cure for being “a rebel without a cause” is to accomplish a little something every day that builds me materially and builds me spiritually. Fulfillment comes from giving my intellect a mission to accomplish and moving into action with something simple right away.
Everything starts with the feeling — feel-think-act. My true feelings are here and now, and I can always return to them. When I distort that flow, emotions, or the “plastic feelings of the intellect,” are stimulated. I can sugarcoat this all day, but it’s just a head trip. I can readily tell when I am caught up in an emotional loop because I’m ruled by a dreaded future or a resented past. While I can be in my feelings as I regroup the past and plan for the future, if I am working from emotional premises, I won’t experience the airy delight of flowing. How easy is it to lose track of the present?
As a sensitive, or someone who is committed to their own energy, I live in the vibration of, “I’m right, even when I’m wrong I’m right.” This is not meant to be egotistical, but more in the nature of clear direction and love. If I can’t believe in myself it will only be a matter of time when I start succumbing to thinking I’m being used or abused. Getting trapped into the downward emotional spiral of un-channeled feelings is just as deadly as being the intellectualist. It becomes a constant search for direction outside myself and an inability to establish personal boundaries. Authority is outsourced.
One yawning booby trap to avoid is the comfortably numb habit. As I was often reminded by a journeyman, “don’t get comfy.” This street-without-exit begins with fears and ends in suffering and helplessness. As I progress and evolve there are fewer and fewer excuses for not ‘feeling with’ my purpose. Or for not expressing my thrust. The more I value my time and understand my own energy, the easier it is to transition toward happiness and fulfillment. The easier it is to achieve and accomplish. It is important that I feel secure and comfortable. But this needs to be tempered with the regrouping question: “AM I REALLY LEARNING AND GROWING?” It is a spiritual need to expand and evolve; when I accept this, life becomes more simple. It becomes more fun. And my innate inner leadership inevitably takes me forward.
A beautiful life is marked by someone who has true concern for themselves, people and all life. And at the same time they are unafraid to let go. There is more of everything than I could possibly ever need. That is why it is so important for me to be me, and not be someone else. To claim my success and to seek out opportunities. In the interest of sincerity, I ask myself: Am I really willing to feel life? My ability to share and outflow will grow and subsequently all of the rest of me will also. The first major step is to allow the sensation, the second is to do something with it. To truly become the sensation I become a master of myself.
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