People

When you work with people, they tend to fall into recognizable categories. They are usually one of the following:

• Apprentice — 50/50

• Opportunist — Steals the pie

• Associate — Teamwork

• Rebel / Maverick — Wrong time, wrong place

• Other — Who knows?

The Apprentice

The Apprentice represents a healthy 50/50 relationship. You learn from them, and they learn from you. A great deal gets accomplished, and everyone prospers. Even people outside the project benefit from the positive energy created by shared success.

This kind of relationship grows naturally and healthily, and the fruit is sweet when it matures. Mutual stimulation and friendly competition ensure learning, growth, and enjoyment.

The Opportunist

The Opportunist is a different story. This is someone looking to take advantage. They want to steal the pie off the windowsill, run away and eat it, then come back looking for another pie.

This is an out-of-balance narcissist. They are interested only in their own selfish gain. They rarely change until they hit rock bottom, and even then it often takes something close to a miracle.

You may feel compelled to help them, but it is usually a waste of time. They are a one-way street called Gimme.
The best approach is distance. If circumstances force you to deal with this type, you must set and maintain strong buffers and solid boundaries. They look for low-hanging fruit. All you can really do is deflect their greed toward an easier target and allow them to learn their lesson.

The Associate

The Associate is a good teammate. The energy is relaxed and balanced—equals pulling in the same direction, like a team of workhorses. The work flows easily toward completion, and you simply get along.

An Associate relationship grows from clear planning, established boundaries, and mutual respect. Each person brings different strengths that complement one another, allowing the task to be completed efficiently.

Both parties benefit and are willing to work together again. An Associate often becomes a good friend.

The Rebel / Maverick

Then there is the Rebel or Maverick. Like the Opportunist, they bring trouble—but of a different kind. The Opportunist wants to eat the pie; the Rebel wants to destroy the pie so no one can have it. The Maverick, untamed, simply wants chaos and thrives on confusion.

These types are not always recognized until it is too late. Then you are left with a major cleanup, which may become ongoing if they return—as some friends do.

No matter what boundaries you set, they find a way to break the fence and trample the garden. Often they feign helpfulness or helplessness, only to act at the critical moment.

If your policy is live and let live, your choices are limited: constant surveillance, which only delays the damage, or repeated cleanup until they finally move on.

These people crave attention. As children, they got it by throwing tantrums. As adults, they get it by creating messes. The less attention you give them, the more likely they are to seek it elsewhere.

In Summary

Apprentices and Associates are the people to work with. For everyone in your circle, check inwardly—or with guidance—about which category they belong to. If they don’t clearly fit one of these four or five, then they fall into Other.

And that is another story.

To be continued…

Tomas Burke
www.spiritual-pilgrim.com